Crossing a Crunchy Line

First, there was the homeschooling. Then, I jumped into experimenting with essential oils. More recently, I have made drastic changes to my family's diet, instituting a healthy eating plan they lovingly refer to as "The Regime." But now, I've crossed another line in the pursuit of "crunchiness." I've gotten into yoga. And, by that I basically mean yoga has pretty much been saving my life since this new year began.

I've had "try yoga" on my New Year's resolution list for quite a long time, but I just haven't ever gotten around to finding a class or making the time or whatever. Because making excuses is generally easier than making changes, which is why most New Year's resolutions never even have a realistic chance of getting off the ground. But, as I mentioned in a previous post, I've been pretty depressed since our move back to Texas, and, in an effort to combat that, I've tried all sorts of things--a ballroom dance class, an improv class, a Spanish practice app, a painting class, reading lots of books, working on my geography books, experimenting in the kitchen, getting more serious about photography. These activities have all been fun and well worth the time (and I am still enjoying several of them on an ongoing basis), but, when the new year rolled around, I felt like I needed to try something else. And, there was yoga, still on my list, waving its hand around yelling, "Pick me! Pick me!"

I checked with a local Facebook group for recommendations for beginner classes, and the one suggested more than any other was within walking distance of my house. I didn't really feel like my excuses could hold up to that--or the fact that the time was right and this studio offered one class for free, just to try it out. So, I carved out some space in my Wednesday evening and have been going somewhat regularly for about six weeks. I LOVE it and keep asking myself why I didn't try it sooner and where this has been all my life!

For a person who instinctively and subconsciously holds her breath as a  (poor and ineffective) coping mechanism in the face of stress, an activity where every move is counted in breaths rather than time seems wildly magical and utterly freeing. Every Wednesday evening, for an hour, I have permission to breathe. And, even when I can't get the yoga pose right, I feel like I have truly accomplished something if I was simply able to keep breathing. I am learning that even when I feel like a particular stretch might unhinge one of my joints, I can breathe through it, and it will pass, and I will come out feeling stronger and more confident. Obviously, there are applications beyond the yoga studio.

I come home from class physically relaxed and mentally serene (and smelling like essential oils!) I feel positive and tranquil, and, frankly, thankful for a legit reason to wear yoga pants around. The feeling doesn't always last all week long, but it seems to last longer and longer all the time, and I find myself remembering to breathe more often, which is only a good thing.

So, here's to following through on New Year's resolutions and to crunchy living!

Feel Good Friday: Choose the light

More times than I can count over the course of the last 14 years--my parenting years--I have heard words coming out of my mouth, directed at one kid or another, meant to correct inappropriate behavior and develop deeper character. And, sometimes, I'm quite shocked that the words I'm saying might be better directed inward than outward. Being a parent makes me acutely aware of my own character flaws and shortcomings. I see my hypocrisies and failings as if under a magnifying glass. And, so often, when I am correcting one of the kids, my words ricochet and strike me right in the heart, and I realize something in me needs to change, particularly if I want to see that change in one of them.

This happened today. I was reminding one of my dear offspring that every moment we have a choice about the kind of person we are going to be. Are we going to be rude or kind? Happy or sad? Engaged or disengaged? Respectful or disrespectful? Positive or negative? Helpers or hurters? Workers or slackers? We can't control everything that happens in life, but we can control how we respond. We always have a choice. 

The truth is, I have been pretty depressed since our RTW trip ended. I have been resentful of my stationary situation and have flatly refused (both subconsciously and consciously) to be happy in this place. Of course I've had moments of happiness and things certainly haven't been all bad. But, in my heart, I know I haven't really been trying that hard to make the choice to be happy. 

And, today, as I spoke to my child about choices, some lightbulb suddenly reignited inside my brain, and I realized that I can change my choice. That, in fact, I must change my choice, because I do not want to go through my days unhappy. I can and will choose to change my inner dialogue. I can and will choose happiness, regardless of my situation.

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on." --J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

As for me, in this rare and beautiful moment of clarity, I will choose the light.

(For more of my ramblings on choosing happiness, check out this post.)

Feel Good Friday: On a Saturday

What are you waiting for?!

Feel Good Friday: My Happy List

Ten Things I'm Happy About Today

1. Beautiful weather

2. Homemade chicken salad

3. On Guard oil in the diffuser

4. Kids who can entertain themselves

5. A cool science experiment

6. The opportunity to homeschool my kids

7. My wooden utensil collection

8. Date Night

9. Pumpkin Spice Martinis

10. A text from my SIL saying she's coming for a visit

{The truth is, today didn't really feel like the happiest of days. And, I was discouraged because I couldn't come up with a single meaningful thing to post for Feel Good Friday, which kind of felt like a failure and only served to make me feel worse. But then, I realized that the whole point of this weekly segment is to create happiness and positivity. So, I decided that I would take a break from thinking about all the things that could make me unhappy and focus only on the things that could make me HAPPY instead. I'll admit, it took some time to get started on my list. It took even more time to finish the list. It was an exercise in mindfulness, and I was forced to deliberately sift through the data in my brain, passing up the negative thoughts and picking out the positive ones. It wasn't exactly easy, but I'm really glad I did it. I wish I would have taken the time to make the list earlier in the day because I can now see how much I have to be happy about. Negative thoughts tend to build on one another inside my head and can quickly snowball out of control. Making a happy list (in writing!) takes away the momentum of the melancholy and allows my brain to reset. In my opinion, the harder it is to make the list, the more important it is to do it. Do you have a happy list? I would love for you share, if you're willing, because I think we could both benefit from it.} 

Feel Good Friday: The Boss of Me

http://dailyburn.com/life/lifestyle/instagram-positive-affirmations/

Feel Good Friday: Mirror Talk

This is a good pep talk to give yourself in the mirror and to repeat as often as necessary until it sinks in.

Feel Good Friday: Spreading love the old-fashioned way

My youngest child is so full of love, he just can't help but share it. He is a giver, and he always thinks of others. And, lately, with the development of his writing skills, his love has taken written form. Every other day or so, he comes to me with a pencil and a piece of paper and tells me he needs to write a letter to someone he cares about. He often starts with "I love you." He writes from his heart (while I help with spelling and punctuation) and draws a thoughtful picture to go along with his words. He eagerly takes his letters to the mailbox, never expecting anything in return. He is a true spreader of love and joy, and I want to be like him.

Even if we aren't all writers, perhaps we would all do well to think about starting with "I love you."

Happiness on both ends of the mailbox!

Feel Good Friday

The world seems so dark and crazy and broken and negative. It seems we are constantly inundated with bad news. I admit, I have a sensitivity to negativity and a tendency to lean that direction with the slightest provocation. Sometimes my brain takes in all the little (and occasionally big) bits of negativity and churns it around until it becomes difficult to believe there is any good left in the world at all. Bad news hit our family in personal ways this week, and after days of feeling the weight of grief and anger, I remembered Mahatma Gandhi's words: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." And that got me thinking: If the world is dark, I can be light. If the world is crazy, I can be sane. If the world is broken, I can be whole. If the world is negative, I can be positive. I don't have to be part of the problem. I can be part of the solution. As I have been at a little bit of a loss for words lately and in need of some direction for the blog, I have decided to spread positive vibes in a new weekly feature, Feel Good Friday, where I will share things I find to be positive, uplifting, inspiring, happy, and/or beautiful. Can it change the world? Probably not. But, according to Norman Vincent Peale, if you "change your thoughts, you change your world," and changing just my world seems like a good place to start. If anything I post helps change yours, all the better.

Temple of Heaven

They say Disney World is "the happiest place on Earth," but I have been there, and this is a lie. (No offense intended to my Disney loving friends!) Today, we visited the Temple of Heaven in Beijing, and I believe the slogan would be much more accurate if applied to this lovely place instead. I don't know when I have ever been in a place that exuded quite so much positivity. It was a place filled with music, dancing, games, and people of all kinds in pursuit of physical and emotional well-being. And, I have never seen a display of community to match the likes of it.

The Temple of Heaven was originally built in the 1400s, as a place of worship for the emperors of the Ming and Qing dynasties. And, while the beautiful temple structures are still in place, today, the extensive grounds, dotted with ancient trees, make up an incredible park, which is accessible to all for a small fee. We saw groups performing a variety of dances, playing unusual instruments, practicing Tai Chi and Bailong, flying kites, working on gymnastic moves, exercising, and playing cards, dominoes, Chinese chess, and Jianzi (Chinese hacky sack). Adults and children played side by side, and everyone wore a smile. We were invited to play and participate in any activity we showed an interest in. And, as a bonus, the weather was perfect! We enjoyed the day so much and would love to visit this inspirational place again in the future!

Dancing, music, Tai Chi, Bailong, and gymnastics
are just a few of the activities we saw int he park.

There were people gathered everywhere to play games,
and our kids were happy to get in on the action. 

There was a huge section of the park devoted to workout equipment.
We were happy to get physical and gave it all a try!

Some of the beautiful temple structures

The center of my universe standing at the spot known as
"The Center of the Universe"

Nochevieja y Nuevo Ano

In Spain, New Year's Eve is called "Nochevieja," which comes from bygone days of calling it "Old Year's Night." I kind of like making the distinction between the old and the new, because both are important and worthy of consideration.

As the sun was setting on the last day of 2015, I had an opportunity to take a walk on the beach by myself. Aside from just being a lovely end to the day, it was also a wonderful time to reflect on this past year and to contemplate the year ahead. 

2015 brought more changes to my life than any other single year I have lived through thus far. But, I can say with conviction that it was probably my favorite year of all. I found myself in so many new places, having so many new experiences. But, more importantly, I found myself, my real true self, in so many unique places and through so many unique experiences, and I am better for it. I have learned to let go of so much physical and emotional baggage, so many things that I didn't even know were weighing me down. I have learned to live more simply and to find joy in unexpected places. I have learned to filter out a lot of the noise of life and seek out the sanctuaries. Not everything in 2015 was fun or easy or even interesting. There was sadness and anger and hurt and mistakes, just like any other year. But, there was also joy and peace and healing and learning.

I have been steering away from formal New Year's Resolutions for a few years now, as they seem to me a bit trite. Instead, I have been trying to make happy life choices throughout the days and weeks and months and years. Most of 2016 lies before me a complete unknown, and there was time in my life when that would have made me uncomfortable in so many ways. But, I have learned that I can choose my own happiness, regardless of the situations I find myself in, and that that happiness is the only one I am responsible for. I have also learned that happiness sometimes comes in unexpected ways, so it's important to keep an open mind.

So, whatever the year brings, I will look for the good and will embrace opportunities to become a better, truer version of myself. I hope you all have had or will have some time to reflect on the year that has passed and to consider the one that lies ahead. I wish you all joy and peace and healing and learning in this new year. May you find a better, truer version of yourself, and may you enjoy every part of the journey. Happy 2016!

Here are some pictures from our Nochevieja celebrations:

The sun setting on 2015

One of the Spanish traditions is to eat 12 grapes--
representing the 12 months of the coming year--
on each chime of the clock at midnight.
Those who succeed in eating all their grapes in the
allotted time will have good luck all year.
Our grapes came packaged in plastic champagne flutes,
so we were ready to toast the new year (with sparkling juice)
 when we finished our grapes.

Happy New Year!

Another Spanish tradition is to eat churros with chocolate
just before you go to bed on New Year's Day, after celebrating all night.
We were not able to find churros, so we made our own tradition,
and ate a delicious chocolate torta from a local bakery instead.

My new addiction

Earlier this week, I decided to enter one of my photos in a National Geographic photo contest. I honestly have no chance of winning, but that wasn't really my goal when I entered. I have been in love with National Geographic my whole life, and I have been particularly enamored with the photography. I can't see one of their photographs without my heart beating a little faster and my breath catching just a little. I just wanted to be a part of that community. I wanted to see a photo I had taken represented, even in some small way, by that logo. Now, I'm sort of obsessed with adding pictures to my account and perusing the images of the rest of the NG community. Somehow, the photos just look better displayed on that site. Plus, it's really fun to have other photographers (real photographers!) looking at, liking, and commenting on my photos. I may not ever get another productive thing done, but I'm very happy! If you'd like to check out any of my photos or those of the rest of the community, click here. That link will take you to my page, but you can look at other photos by clicking on the "Photos" tab at the top of the page. Just make sure you have plenty of free time if you decide to go poking around, because it's hard to pull yourself away!

Today, I Choose Happiness

Ever have a day (or week, or month, or year) when you're extra hormonal, or stressed, or maybe just too tired to fight off the negative thoughts that plague us all from time to time? It becomes so much easier to focus on those few extra pounds playing around your waist, and the middle-age hormonal acne stubbornly cluttering your complexion, and the ever increasing gray hairs sprouting out of your scalp like a nest of angry and unruly vipers. The people around you seem to be more annoying than usual, and your reactions are more snippy or harsh. You may have entertained thoughts of running away from it all, only to remember that you can't run away from your thoughts, which is where the real problem lies.

You may not have ever felt this way, but I certainly have. Just recently, I recognized this familiar but uncomfortable twisting of my mind, and I determined I would not allow my happiness to be taken prisoner in this way. So, I channeled my inner Stuart Smalley and came up with a written list of strategies I can employ for pursuing happiness. It is on the list-making app on my phone, and it is entitled: "Today, I will choose happiness!" I can't make a grocery list, or notes about school, or even look at any other kind of list without seeing this one. And, often, just seeing the app icon reminds that the list is sitting there, waiting to put me back on the straight and narrow when my thoughts start to stray. And, it may seem silly, but it does help me to have the goal--happiness--right in front of me all day long, and to be reminded that it is my choice.

I thought I would share the list here, as a quick reference for myself and in case any of you might find it helpful. My "Daily Affirmations" also include a list from T.D. Jakes that I came across just after I made my own list. To be honest, I don't always choose happiness. Sometimes, I have the feeling that I am powerless in the face of overwhelming negative feelings, and I give in and let them take my mind hostage. But reading through these lists helps me remember that I am (or can be!) in control and that I have the power to take my thoughts captive. If you have any go-to strategies for helping yourself choose happiness, I would love for you to share them, so that I may learn from you.

Today, I will choose happiness!

• I will choose to embrace the members of my household and others around me and see them as blessings instead of burdens. I will be interested in the things they are interested in, even if those things are not my favorite things. Their happiness may be entwined with my happiness, so I will try to make them happy, if I can. 
• I will let go of bitterness and offer forgiveness, even if it isn't asked for or deserved. 
• I will look for beauty and solitude where I can find it, and I will appreciate it for what it is. 
• I will not compare myself to others.
• I will focus the bulk of my energy and attention on controlling the one person I have complete control of: me.
• I will find something active to do. 
• I will pursue creative outlets.
• I will go outside.
• I will lower my expectations. I can pursue excellence without confusing that with perfection. 
• I will actively look for things to be thankful for. 
• I will close my eyes and take deep breaths, if I need to. 
• I will smile, even when I don't feel like it. 

From T.D. Jakes (along with some of my own notes):

• Own your own happiness--It is not anyone else's job to make me happy. (And, by the same token, no one can make me unhappy, unless I allow them to). I need to own my happiness and be responsible for doing those things that bring joy to my heart.
• Challenge your own story--I may be telling myself a story that isn't quite true. I can change the way I talk to myself and about myself.
• Enjoy the journey, not the destination--I don't have to wait for this or that to be happy. I can be happy in the meantime, all along the way.
• Make relationships count--I need relationships, so I must be intentional about working to make all my relationships work.
• Balance work with play--Take care of business, but don't forget to have some fun.