Rethinking some things

My kids used to think loading the dishwasher was a fate worse than death. They would argue and whine and conive to try to get out of it. But, after a month with no dishwasher and having to hand wash all of the dishes, they all practically jumped for joy when we arrived at our current apartment and found a dishwasher. Perspective is a good thing, and we're getting a lot of that.

To Max, my favorite seven-year-old

Well, Max, you're seven! And, you are such an amazing seven-year-old, it makes me glad you and I both survived your infant and toddler years, so we could live to appreciate this day! I have really seen you change a lot in the last year, and I'm thankful for and proud of all the ways you are learning and growing and maturing!

In our household, seven brings two very special things: getting to watch the Star Wars movies for the first time and learning how to do your own laundry. We spent the weekend watching the movies, which you were thrilled to finally get to see, since you've heard your older siblings reference them so often. Tomorrow, you will get your first laundry lesson and will be well on your way to becoming even more self-sufficient than you already are. (You have already been helping with sorting and putting away, but now you will have the opportunity to go through the whole process.)

Speaking of self-sufficiency, you made your own birthday cake this year (with a little help and supervision from me), and it was wonderful! You love to help cook meals and do so regularly. You also often volunteer to help with other things around the house, and, when asked to something you didn't volunteer for, you will usually do it these days without too much arguing or complaining. And, on your new year's review/resolutions page, you said one of the things you learned in 2014 was to "not fight." Dad and I can tell you are really learning to master your emotions, rather than being mastered by them. This is something that proves you are really growing up.

You are (and always have been) a great collector of things--rocks, shells, pieces of paper, boxes, bags, and a million other things that have true significance to you, but that, admittedly, leave me shaking my head with a lack of understanding. Your greatest treasure has long been your bottle collection. In fact, that was almost a deal-breaker for you with our RTW trip. When we first told you about the trip, you were thrilled, particularly in regard to the possibility of going to international festivals. (We don't know if you really even understood what a festival is, but somehow that word piqued your interest and you grinned from ear to ear on hearing it). But, when we told you that meant selling our house and getting rid of many of our possessions, you broke down in tears, unable to bear the thought of parting with your precious bottles. We finally convinced you that we wouldn't have to get rid of everything we own, and that if the bottles were that important to you, you could certainly keep them. That dried up the waterworks, and then, you were completely on-board. Later, Ruth helped you cull the expansive collection a bit, so that it would be a bit more manageable for eventually boxing up.

As far as the trip goes, you are really excited about it. You are particularly looking forward to seeing Stonehenge and some of the places you've learned about in History. You are always up for an adventure, so I know you will love every minute! You've been interested in putting together your bag and have really taken ownership of it and its contents. And, even though you are all about the thrill of adventure, you also take the parts seriously that need to be taken seriously. You listen carefully to our safety talks and pay close attention when we talk about the logistics of getting from point A to point B. Before we went to Canada last month, we set up a mock airport in the kitchen, so we could show all of you what it was like to go through security. You took the exercise very seriously, and that night prayed, "Lord, please help me to obey all the airport officers and not get in trouble."

You started losing your teeth about a month ago and have already lost three since then--one of which mysteriously disappeared from your mouth in the middle of the night last night. We are hoping you didn't swallow it and are thankful you didn't choke on it. Dad teased you this morning, saying not all seven-year-olds are tough enough to eat teeth for breakfast.

Your little body is just full of energy, which sometimes you truly seem unable to control. I often send you outside to run laps around the house, when I see that it is becoming difficult for you to rein in all that energy. This is not a punishment, as you absolutely love to run and recognize it as a need that you have. This is an exercise that keeps us both sane. Running was, once again, your favorite part of the flag football season, though you did actually enjoy the game in its own right a bit more this year than last year. You would really like to try soccer, which we hope you can experience while we are overseas. You are also very interested in learning how to play golf, which is a bit surprising, since it's kind of the anti-running sport. But, you've been interested in golf for a long time, and I think your desire is genuine.

Academically, you are doing an amazing job, especially since you've adopted your "no fighting" initiative! You are already partway through your 3rd grade Math book, even though, by age, you are only "supposed" to be in 1st grade. You pick up concepts quickly and can truly do anything you put your mind to. Your reading is wonderful, and you are reading a lot just for fun these days, in addition to your scheduled reading during the school day. You have recently been enjoying the Cam Jansen books. You do a great job at writing, and you often carry around a notebook on which to make lists or write little notes to people. Whenever we stay in a hotel, the first thing you do is find the notepad and start jotting down whatever comes to your mind. You are still very much enamored with robots, and you spent some time this summer watching a great many TED talks on that subject. You also thoroughly enjoyed the robot room at the science museum we visited in Tampa and stayed until they were literally closing the doors. Additionally, you have a very good grasp on basic Spanish and were thrilled to discover you understood some words on the radio recently. With your combination of brains and leadership qualities, I believe you will go far in life!

Max, I'm so proud to be your mom. You make the days at our house fun and interesting and special. I love your hugs and your snaggletoothed grins. I admire your passion for life and your many and varied abilities. You are, by far, my favorite seven-year-old! I love you so very much! Happy birthday!

Love,
Mom

I had forgotten

It has been at least six months (not an exaggeration) since we have had a free Saturday at home, with nothing on the schedule. So, yesterday actually came as sort of a shock to me. I had forgotten what it's like to sleep in, and to take care of neglected chores around the house, and to sit and read for more than a handful of minutes at a time. It was just the right mix of productive and restful. A blessing I had forgotten I needed, or even wanted, but am so very glad I received.

(Almost) Perfectly Clean

In the Watts' home, everyone is expected to contribute. We have gone through several methods of chore distribution, including this one from 2012. The thing that actually seems to work best for us is to switch things up every so often, so that the chore schedule always kind of feels fresh. We've been through several methods since that post in 2012. The chores themselves don't really change too much, but the way in which they are displayed and distributed do, and it really seems to make all the difference in the level of enthusiasm the kids have for the chores. For 2014, we have adopted another new method, which I'll just go ahead and count as my Pin of the Week, since it's not likely anything more creative is going to happen around here this week. Assigning specific chores on specific days really gives the kids more focus and keeps them from being overwhelmed, and thus, the chores get done in a more timely manner, with less whining. (Or maybe that's just due to it being a new system, and everyone loves a new system at first.) Perhaps you all already knew and have implemented that in your homes, but I'm a little slow, so I'm just now having that lightbulb moment.

Anyway, what I really want to tell you is this: One of Weston's chores for this week is to clean the kitchen counters. He set to work on it yesterday and very quickly announced that he was all done. One peek at the kitchen told me the counters definitely weren't clean, so I asked him if he really thought it was clean and what he saw when he looked at it. He proceeded to tell me that, to him, it looked "perfectly clean." This seemed like a teachable moment, so I put my arm around his shoulders and began to walk around the kitchen pointing to obvious milk spots and sticky areas and crumbs. Each time, I would point and ask, "Does this look perfectly clean?" To which, he always replied, "No." There were quite a few of these areas, and by the time we were done, he was in tears. Finally, through sobs, he declared, "But you only picked out the dirty spots! The rest is perfectly clean!" 

A couple of things the classical model of education (which we employ in our homeschool) emphasizes are the over-learning of the grammar of any subject and the defining of terms to make communication more effective. Clearly, I need to be better at defining my terms, and Weston needs a bit more practice with the "grammar" of kitchen cleaning. Thankfully, we will both have plenty of opportunities over the next few years to improve in these respective areas. 

First Crazy Weekend in November

Most weekdays I don't seem to have time to catch my breath, which is why I have only been showing up here occasionally (and often only in bullet-pointed lists) on the weekends. I would love to tell you that life will slow down soon and I'll be appearing more regularly and slightly more coherently, but that seems unlikely for the foreseeable future. We are in the middle of a football season that just won't end (yay, playoffs and pick-up games!) and have signed everyone of age up for the winter sports of their choice, which, of course, will not be the same for all the kids or played in the same city. I would say, "Well, at least it keeps us off the streets," but if there is one place we are for sure, it's the streets. Who was the woman that put the "stay-at-home" in stay-at-home mom, anyway? I'd like to meet her. The good news is, I'm here now to tell you all the fascinating details of our crazy weekend. (Try to contain your overwhelming enthusiasm!)

Jeff's birthday was on Friday. He says he's officially in his late thirties, but I choose to heartily disagree, since I am approaching that age myself within the year. Jeff wanted to celebrate by going to a local high school football game. Thirty minutes before it was time to leave the house, Clay was in full meltdown mode, and by the time everyone was ready to walk out the door, he was sound asleep. So, the plan was modified a bit, and just Jeff and the big boys went to the game, while Ruth and Clay and I celebrated in our own ways at home.

Doesn't look like late 30s to me!

Thankfully, our Saturday sports were not until 11:00, which meant a mostly leisurely morning. Max's football season was supposed to have ended last weekend, which he was ecstatic about. But his coaches were able to get in on a pick-up game in Canyon Lake, and Max couldn't imagine anything he'd rather do that play in that game. So, since Jeff hadn't seen a volleyball game in a while, he offered to take Ruth to her game along with the other two boys, and I took Max. Since the season was over, we had ceremoniously thrown the nasty mouthpiece in the trash following the last game. We (not me) had also neglected to put our jersey in any kind of location that made sense for actually finding it or wearing it. So, we (I) scrounged up Weston's jersey from last year and a spare (new) mouthpiece that didn't really fit in Max's mouth. Of course, no one bothered to tell me the mouthpiece was ill-fitting until we were many miles down the road. That's when things got a little redneck. I whipped into a dollar store, purchased a pair of scissors and snipped the ends off the mouthpiece until it would go in far enough for Max to close his lips. I don't want to think about how unsterile those scissors were. (Or the mouthpiece, for that matter). When we arrived in Canyon Lake, we found ourselves in the middle of a huge bike race that was taking place in the heart of a construction zone. The race seemed to span both lanes of traffic, and the cyclists, true to form, seemed completely oblivious to the motorized traffic on either side of them. Additionally, the road we needed to turn on to get to the football field was completely shut down "for maintenance." Not being familiar with the area, I was blindly trusting my GPS to get us there, and ended up going in circles forever, before finally figuring out the detour route. I was a nervous wreck, but we did finally make it to the field, where Max played the game and then enjoyed pizza provided by the other team. As we left the field, I asked Max if he had fun. He enthusiastically indicated that he did have a good time. So, I asked him if he was planning to play again next year, to which he replied, "No way! I just meant it was fun getting to have pizza after the game." So glad I risked my life and sanity for this Saturday morning outing. Max and I did get to have a lunch date, though, which was very special. I'm not so sure that he and I have ever really been alone like that. So, I guess the morning's antics were worth it after all.

A special lunch date

After a brief stint at home, trying to get a few things done around the house and overseeing a round of front porch haircuts, I had my second date of the day. This one was an adult-only affair, and the juice was less sweet and more alcoholic. This was Jeff's and my second visit to the Cabernet Grill in Fredricksburg, and we hope it will not be our last. The atmosphere is fun and the food is delicious! Mostly because we were unwillingly to end our date after dinner, we made our way over to Sweet Marley's for FROYO. The air conditioned building drove us outside, but the even colder temps there landed us in the van, where we turned on the heater and seat warmers and enjoyed our FROYO in all the glamour and romance you are picturing. Back at home, we tuned in to the Aggie game but quickly realized we are old (late 30s!) when we decided we'd just go to bed at half-time. Fortunately, the Ags pulled out the major victory without our help, and we avoided the heart attacks that almost always accompany Aggie games.

Texas Tempranillos 

Our treat for fall-back Sunday was having it be light out at 6:30, when Clay climbed into our bed, which meant there was no chance to go back to sleep. And, since I was up at such an enterprising hour, I decided to make these low-cal pumpkin muffins for breakfast. While the second batch was in the oven and the first batch was cooling, I hopped in the shower. All but two muffins had been devoured by the time I reentered the kitchen, and those were only there because Jeff forced the kids to save some for me. I guess they were a hit. They were surprisingly moist and very easy to throw together. I will definitely be making them again! (And, speaking of low-cal yummies, I made some birthday cupcakes--pictured above--for Jeff, using a tip I saw online to cut the fat: take any cake mix, add two egg whites and 10 oz. of any diet soda and bake as usual, in cupcake or cake form. We topped ours with fat-free Cool Whip, and they were scrumptious! We may have liked them better than the full-fat version.) The other highlight of the day was the First Sunday Potluck after church. The kids were all on the fence about whether they wanted to go to church or not until they realized they it was the most glorious of all Sundays. Holy zeal took over at that point and everyone couldn't wait to hop in the van. Since then, we have been enjoying a quiet afternoon/evening at home, with various people watching football, shopping for used cars, painting, napping, jumping on the trampoline, watching a movie, doing chores, blogging, getting some work done, and spilling large amounts of laundry detergent all over the utility room. I'll let you guess who's been doing what.

Football watching buddies

If you've stuck it out through this long, infinitely mundane post, thank you. Both of you. You should reward yourself with a special snack--maybe some low-cal cupcakes or muffins. Thanks for hangin' with the Watts through the mundanity and insanity.

Stiff necked and twinkle toed

On Thursday, Nana picked up Clay to take him with her as the Watts' representative at the Wainscott Reunion. He was thrilled to have the grandparents and great-grandparents all to himself for a few days!

Ruth spent the evening with her friends on Friday, so the rest of us had dinner at Chili's and then came home to watch a movie.

Apparently, Jeff slept crazy Friday night and woke up yesterday morning with a terrible crick in his neck. He has tried ice, heat, massage chair, peppermint oil, Advil and rest, to no avail. It just continues to plague him. If you have any sure-fire helps for that sort of thing, please pass them along.

Yesterday morning was also consumed with sports. Max and Weston had football games in Marble Falls, and Ruth was playing volleyball in Burnet. We had to divide and conquer, since the volleyball game was at the same time as one of the football games. Because I hadn't yet seen Max play football, and since the volleyball season lasts a little longer, I was Football Mom and Jeff was Volleyball Dad.

Since Clay had other engagements, we decided to spend some time this weekend doing things that are less fun when a toddler is involved, so after the second football game, we headed over to the movie theater to see "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2," which we all thoroughly enjoyed. When it was over, Ruth and I went shopping and got matching pedicures. Ruth says I always pick the same two or three colors, so I let her pick our color, which is a delightful sparkly gold. I'm so glad I have people in my life to push me to get out of my ruts! Meanwhile, the boys went back to the house to watch football and play video games. Ruth and I made it home just in time to watch the Aggies play. It was an unnecessarily stressful game, but we were glad to see the Aggies gather up another "W."

We had planned to climb Enchanted Rock today, but with all the rain yesterday and the predicted rain for today, we thought it might be a bit slippery and wet. It was just as well, though, because the kids were able to finish up their weekly chores, and then watch a movie, and I was able to get some work done.

Our weekend ended with dinner with my parents in Lampasas and the retrieval of our little Claycito. All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. What did you do this weekend?

Off the Beaten Path

There is a sinewy little boy I know, clad today in denim shorts,  a very dressy suit vest, a fancy cowboy hat, tough-looking work gloves, his red-topped cowboy boots and a bright turquoise Tow Mater t-shirt that reads, "Ah, Dang!" He also has a serious-looking weapon shoved in his front pocket and a Color Run tattoo on his left cheek. He is the very picture of perfection!

After lunch, I asked him to go up to the street and bring the garbage cans back to the house. He enthusiastically embraced his mission, as I watched from the garage. He rocketed up the driveway but suddenly veered off into the "wilderness." That's when my heart skipped a beat, and I was reminded again how much I love this little life--full of passion, lacking fear and always running off the beaten path. I have much to learn from him, and I'm thankful for an opportunity to study under such a master.

Personalities

At breakfast this morning, I announced that it was "donation day." I gave everyone a large trash bag and told them their only goal for the day was to fill the bag with toys and clothes to be donated. It was interesting to watch how the rest of the day progressed under the influence of such different personalities. Weston finished his breakfast and immediately made a bee-line for his room, bag in hand. He got a quick start on filling the bag, and then kind of stalled out. But when I told him he couldn't play outside until the bag was filled, he managed to complete the task in a relatively short time. Ruth lingered at the table and leisurely made her way to her room. She then proceeded to empty every drawer, bin, box and closet and spread her possessions out in the middle of the floor. She slowly filled her bag, while simultaneously playing with  and admiring everything she owns and picking out some items that she wanted to wrap up to give to loved ones as Christmas gifts. That distraction seemed to bring the bag filling to a screeching halt, when the bag was only half full. While the gift giving was generous and thoughtful and sort of in line with what we were trying to accomplish, I insisted that she stick to the original goal of filling the bag. She was not happy to continue this work, but she did do it. Max refused to get up from the breakfast table. He just sat there. For-Ev-Er. And then, when I finally forced him to get up, he bawled and squalled and declared he wasn't going to give any of his things away. His bag sat empty on his bedroom floor for the better part of the day, while he alternately sat on his bed or on the floor just staring at it. If Jeff or I checked in with him, he began the bawling again. He finally found it in himself to put one item in the bag. When told that wasn't going to cut it, he went into hysterics once more. There were bribes, threats, appeals to compassion and competition, and leading by example. And finally, at the end of the day, when my vision for this project was wearing thin, I declared I would just do it myself, leaving him no choice in which toys would be donated. (In fact, I had been secretly slipping things into the bag while his back was turned). This, and the fact that he finally decided he was ready to go outside and jump on the trampoline, motivated him to add a few more things to the bag, filling it to an acceptable level. It was so amusing to see all the different personalities at work (or not at work, as the case may be).  

A worker is worth his wages

We have long wondered about the best way to handle household chores, and we've tried a few things that just haven't worked. But, a couple of weeks ago, we instituted a new system, which we are all very pleased with, so far. The way it works is all the chores and their monetary values are printed on magnets and kept on the freezer in the utility room. And each child (old enough to do chores) has a magnet with his/her name on it. (There are also separate assigned, non-negotiable, non-paying chores that must be done). Once the children have completed all their school work and regular chores, they then have the opportunity to earn some money with the elective chores. They may choose from any of the listed chores that haven't already been done by someone else. Each chore may only be done once a week, and only if it needs to be done. They must tell me which chore they intend to do, and I must show them how to do it, if they've never done it before. Then, I have to inspect the work, before a chore magnet can be put under a kid's name. On Sunday, we tally up each kid's pay. Chores can be divided, but then, pay also has to be divided. The system works well, I think, for several reasons. One is that the kids can pick their own chores, and they can compete for the "best" ones. Our kids are also motivated in the competition with one another to make the most money each week. And they also take pride in the jobs they have done and try to keep things a bit neater. Besides all that, the other chores seem to be getting done more quickly and without as much prompting, so that the paying jobs can be tackled. I'm so glad we found this system, and I hope it continues to work so well for us. How do you handle chores at your house?

This week's completed chore chart

*I have already been asked by several people what is printed on the chore magnets, so I am adding a little update here to clear up the fuzziness: Our assigned, non-paying chores include loading/unloading dishwasher, taking out trash, setting/clearing table, and picking clothes up off the floor. Ruth also has a paying job that is only hers, which is doing the laundry. Some of our extra paying jobs are dusting various surfaces in the house (window sills, base boards, cabinet doors), cleaning potties, tubs and sinks, sweeping the front porch, picking up toys and trash outside, cleaning out the van, wiping down all the stainless appliances and straightening books on the bookshelf. Most of them are valued at 50 cents, but some of the bigger jobs are a dollar or more. I think each family has to decide for themselves which chores are for pay and which are just a contribution to the family. And, each family also has to decide what the right value of each chore is to make it meaningful to their kids. If there is a job that particularly needs to be done, and no one selects it, I can do it myself and the kids can loose the privilege of getting to earn money for it, which they don't really like because they think of these as "their" chores.