Big

Earlier this week, Jeff commented on how big he thought Clay was getting to be. I held to my opinion that that couldn't be true because "he's still a baby." But, in my less delusional moments, I too can see that he's getting big. He has so many words now. And,  he is sometimes drinking from a big boy cup, instead of a sippy cup. And, he prefers to sit in a regular chair instead of a highchair. And, he can reach the doorknobs. And, he doesn't want to be left out of anything the big kids are doing. But, tonight, he took that bigness to a level I wasn't quite ready for by climbing out of his crib. He wasn't hurt, but he was pretty angry that he couldn't get the door open and make his escape complete.

And, just like that, our crib days are over. That crib is where all my babies have slept away their infancies and some of their toddlerhoods (or fought sleeping, as the case may be). And there are tiny bite marks along one end, where they all did some of their teething. To have the last baby put that piece of furniture behind him is admittedly hard on this mama's heart.

It's not that I don't want my kiddos to grow up. I just don't understand why it has to happen so incredibly quickly and without my full permission. There are many difficult things about motherhood, but I'm not sure if the hardest isn't these little letting-gos.