Monday, January 11, 2010
Not filling a talent position
I have always wanted to be really amazing at something. Have some incredible talent that defined me. The reality is I have always been quite average. (I'm not looking for sympathy, so don't feel like you have to mentally interrupt me here and say, "But wait, I think you're really great at..."). The problem is that, over the years, I have gotten it in my head that if I couldn't be great or if I couldn't be the best, that I shouldn't even really try. But maybe there is something great in just embracing the average me that is, rather than wishing for the super-talented me that isn't. I will admit, this is really hard for me, and I don't quite know where to start. I tend to reject new activities and ideas before I've even tried them, simply because I'm afraid that I'll realize that this, too, is not my super-talent. I also tend to quit activities quickly, without giving them much of a chance, when I see that I'm not going to be amazing at them. Sounds crazy, right?! It feels a bit crazy, too. I'm trying to work through this, while I cling to the certain knowledge that there is One who knows me and understands me intimately. Who put me together just this way for a particular reason. One who, if I hide myself in Him, can be amazing enough for the both of us.