Just Another Day In Paradise

4:15pm
"Ruth would you like to have reading time or Bible time first this afternoon?"
"That's no fun!"
"Well, I need you to change your attitude and pick one, please."
[Young girl proceeds to stare at Mom as if she has two heads].
"Do you want to change your attitude or would you like to go to bed?"
[Continued staring, but now with a challenge in her eyes that says, "I'd just like to see you try to send me to bed"].
"You can choose or I can choose for you."
[Now, murder in her eyes].
"O.k. I think you need to go lay in your bed for a while."
[Crying, wailing, udder heart-brokenness and stomping up the stairs--followed shortly by silence].

4:30 pm
"I hungee. I-ant sumping eat."
"We'll eat when Daddy gets home."
[Small boy toddles off to living room and proceeds to empty all bookshelves and toy bins].
"Weston please pick up the books and the toys."
"I hungee. I-ant sumping eat."
"O.k. we'll have dinner when Daddy gets home. Let's work on picking up those things."
[Major whining, followed by reluctant obedience].

4:45 pm
"I hungee."
{What are we going to have for dinner?!}

4:50 pm
{How about leftovers with a twist}.

5:00 pm
[Key sounds in the door].
[Toddler runs at full-steam to front door].
"Daddy!"
"I hungee. I-ant sumping eat."
"I told him we'd eat when you got home."
"Oh. No wonder he's so glad to see me."
[Mom heads upstairs to wake sleeping 5-year-old, who doesn't want to be awakened].

5:05 pm
[Dad's phone rings].
[Toddler enters room with every noisy toy he owns, sending Daddy upstairs to talk on the phone].
[Mom begins dinner prep].

5:10 pm
[CRASH]!
[Mom leaves kitchen to inspect and finds toddler trying to use guitar as a ladder while grabbing things off the piano].
[Glass covers the floor. Mom reprimands child. Crying ensues, followed by a thousand "I sorrys"].
[Mom gets broom and begins sweeping just as the curious, now-wide-awake and barefoot 5-year-old enters the room].
"DON'T COME IN HERE WITHOUT SHOES ON! THERE IS GLASS ALL OVER THE FLOOR!"
"Why is there glass all over the floor? What's going on? How did Weston get up there? Where's Dad?"
[Mom notices blood gushing from her finger].

5:15 pm
{What is that smell?!}
{Oh gosh, that pan is still on the stove, on high, and no stirring has occurred for at least five minutes!}
[Mom, with small sobbing boy wrapped tightly around her leg, grabs a paper towel to stop the bleeding and returns to the stove to find the middle contents of the pan burned on to the pan].
{Groan.}

5:16 pm
"O.k. Ruth, I'd like for you to get your book and read to me while I finish getting dinner ready."
[Girl immediately obeys, having already seen the choice Mom will make for her if she doesn't spring into action].

5:20 pm
[Dad appears, and the crowd goes wild].
"Can I do anything to help?"
"How about getting me a band-aid?"
" I hungee. I-ant mlk, pease."
"O.k. just a minute!"
"Can someone help me with this word?"

5:30 pm
[Peaceful and fabulously prepared dinner comes together flawlessly].