Mama needs a time-out…and a very strong drink

I don't know if it was the weather or having dad out of town or the approaching full moon or what, but my kids were extra-crazy today, and I was already in a bad mood because our Internet connection was non-existant on a day when I had a ton of emails to send. Here are a few highlights from the day:

My youngest child has entered a nakedness phase and absolutely refuses to wear clothing, except for the occasional pull-up or pair of underwear, sporadically paired with unmatched boots in various sizes. After chasing him around for a while this morning, I finally threw up my hands and let the child run wild and free. All. Day. That's right, on what will probably be our coldest day of the year, my baby wore no clothes. I'll be waiting by the mailbox for my Mother of the Year award. That same child also locked his bedroom door, before pulling it closed, no fewer than four times by mid-morning. While I was busy jimmying the lock each time, he was stealing I-don't-even-know-how-much candy from the pantry.

Meanwhile, the other children, who were supposed to be investing in their education, were running amuck and making ridiculously bad choices. Repeatedly. I will admit, I also gave in to temptation and made some bad choices of my own. By 11:00, I felt like I was losing control and sent myself to time-out in my bedroom. I wished I could have stayed forever. I would seriously love it if someone put me in permanent time-out. Eventually, though, I began to worry about those on the other side of the bedroom door setting the house on fire, so I came out. Reluctantly.

Around 8:30 this evening, Jeff texted to see if I had survived the day. I wisely and prophetically responded that I couldn't say for sure just yet. Almost the next thing that happened was that I checked in on Max in the bathtub and found that he had amassed, in the tub with him (from who-knows-where), a whole forest worth of paper, which he was desperately trying to coax out of the drain in large clumps when I walked in. I turned myself around and went straight to the kitchen for the alcohol.

I'm so glad we all get to try again tomorrow.