True Story

It's 2:00 am. I am sound asleep and am hosting a fabulous birthday party for Katie's son out at our family's ranch in west Texas. We are just about to cut the cake, when, suddenly, a child is crying. Really, more like wailing. I look around at the other mothers but then realize that it is my child. He is crying loudly, but isn't getting closer like I would expect. I can't see him, but I know he's there, screaming hysterically just beyond my line of vision. And, now, everyone is leaving the party, because no one wants to listen to this kid going crazy in the dark. Well, the mostly dark. My eyes are open now, and I can see light slipping under the door to our bedroom. The clock tells me it's 2:00 am. But, the crying is real, so I get myself moving in the direction of the light. Every light (of which there are many) in the dining room and kitchen are ablaze. Max is sitting at the dining room table with a glass of milk, bawling his brains out. I am finally able to discern that he (thinks he) saw a spider in the kitchen while preparing his breakfast, which stopped him dead in his tracks. The spider blocks his path to my room, and he can't very well stay in the kitchen with the thing, so there is nothing left to do but sit at the table and blubber until help arrives.

"Max, look at the clock. What does it say?"

"Two," he proclaims, without realizing what that means.

"2:00 in the morning. Basically, the middle of the night. Not a good time for breakfast. Let's go back to bed."

With a new burst of crying vigor: "But my sheets are all wet, and I already took them to the laundry room!" (This seems ridiculously productive and responsible for a four-year-old at 2:00 in the morning)!

"It's o.k. I can get you some new sheets. Or better yet, how 'bout if you sleep in the sleeping bag tonight?!" (I did not suggest this because I'm one of those "fun moms," but rather because it was much easier to get a sleeping bag unrolled than to find and situate a set of sheets)!

He finds this more than acceptable, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, falls right to sleep, as if all the drama never even happened. He didn't really remember getting up to have breakfast at that crazy hour of the morning, but he did remember the spider (which I looked for and never found).