Feel Good Friday: On a Saturday

What are you waiting for?!

Feel Good Friday: Mirror Talk

This is a good pep talk to give yourself in the mirror and to repeat as often as necessary until it sinks in.

Feel Good Friday: The Most Important Thing

Today, I Choose Happiness

Ever have a day (or week, or month, or year) when you're extra hormonal, or stressed, or maybe just too tired to fight off the negative thoughts that plague us all from time to time? It becomes so much easier to focus on those few extra pounds playing around your waist, and the middle-age hormonal acne stubbornly cluttering your complexion, and the ever increasing gray hairs sprouting out of your scalp like a nest of angry and unruly vipers. The people around you seem to be more annoying than usual, and your reactions are more snippy or harsh. You may have entertained thoughts of running away from it all, only to remember that you can't run away from your thoughts, which is where the real problem lies.

You may not have ever felt this way, but I certainly have. Just recently, I recognized this familiar but uncomfortable twisting of my mind, and I determined I would not allow my happiness to be taken prisoner in this way. So, I channeled my inner Stuart Smalley and came up with a written list of strategies I can employ for pursuing happiness. It is on the list-making app on my phone, and it is entitled: "Today, I will choose happiness!" I can't make a grocery list, or notes about school, or even look at any other kind of list without seeing this one. And, often, just seeing the app icon reminds that the list is sitting there, waiting to put me back on the straight and narrow when my thoughts start to stray. And, it may seem silly, but it does help me to have the goal--happiness--right in front of me all day long, and to be reminded that it is my choice.

I thought I would share the list here, as a quick reference for myself and in case any of you might find it helpful. My "Daily Affirmations" also include a list from T.D. Jakes that I came across just after I made my own list. To be honest, I don't always choose happiness. Sometimes, I have the feeling that I am powerless in the face of overwhelming negative feelings, and I give in and let them take my mind hostage. But reading through these lists helps me remember that I am (or can be!) in control and that I have the power to take my thoughts captive. If you have any go-to strategies for helping yourself choose happiness, I would love for you to share them, so that I may learn from you.

Today, I will choose happiness!

• I will choose to embrace the members of my household and others around me and see them as blessings instead of burdens. I will be interested in the things they are interested in, even if those things are not my favorite things. Their happiness may be entwined with my happiness, so I will try to make them happy, if I can. 
• I will let go of bitterness and offer forgiveness, even if it isn't asked for or deserved. 
• I will look for beauty and solitude where I can find it, and I will appreciate it for what it is. 
• I will not compare myself to others.
• I will focus the bulk of my energy and attention on controlling the one person I have complete control of: me.
• I will find something active to do. 
• I will pursue creative outlets.
• I will go outside.
• I will lower my expectations. I can pursue excellence without confusing that with perfection. 
• I will actively look for things to be thankful for. 
• I will close my eyes and take deep breaths, if I need to. 
• I will smile, even when I don't feel like it. 

From T.D. Jakes (along with some of my own notes):

• Own your own happiness--It is not anyone else's job to make me happy. (And, by the same token, no one can make me unhappy, unless I allow them to). I need to own my happiness and be responsible for doing those things that bring joy to my heart.
• Challenge your own story--I may be telling myself a story that isn't quite true. I can change the way I talk to myself and about myself.
• Enjoy the journey, not the destination--I don't have to wait for this or that to be happy. I can be happy in the meantime, all along the way.
• Make relationships count--I need relationships, so I must be intentional about working to make all my relationships work.
• Balance work with play--Take care of business, but don't forget to have some fun.

Monday Favorites

I haven't done a favorites post in a while, and since it's a cold, wet Monday and the first day of school for us in over a week, it seems like the right time to focus on some things that make us happy.

I have long been a fan of Baileys, but it seemed especially important
to feature an Irish product since we're here in Ireland.

These Icebreaker Merino glove liners are perfect
for adding another layer of warmth, which I am always in need of.
But they also work well as stand-alone gloves when it's not quite as cold.
And, I love that they are thin enough that I can operate my camera with them on.

I was so sad when I lost an earring in South Africa.
But, I ordered these as replacements, and I really love them!
They are a great weight and just the right mix of fancy and casual.

We've stayed at a few places that haven't had coffee pots,
and after seeing me struggle to improvise, Jeff bought me this.
It folds completely flat when not in use, and it makes a mighty fine cuppa joe.

The whole family is engaged in this fun series. Ruth just re-read all the books,
Weston is almost finished reading them, and the rest of us are listening to the audio version.
We have also watched the first movie together and have been to a couple of tourist locations
that had to do with either the books or movies. 

My FitBit fell apart on me a few months ago,
so I decided to upgrade to the Moto smartwatch.
I love the look and the many cool features!

I recently came across this video, and I think T.D. Jakes eloquently and
accurately describes the true path to happiness in just five steps.
I think everyone should internalize this message!

I had a zipper break off of my original toiletry bag,
so I picked up this replacement, which I love.
It has pockets of all sizes, a detachable mirror,
a removeable waterproof pouch, a hook for hanging,
 and it folds up to about the size of a hardback book. 

Since we've been in the UK, we have been gobbling this stuff up.
It is absolutely delicious, and we put it on/in everything!

And, speaking of delicious, we became addicted to sticky toffee pudding
while we were in Scotland. I haven't tried making it myself,
but I'm linking to the recipe, so I can find it easily in the future.
Who knew dates could be so amazing?!

 *The final photo is mine. The others were borrowed from the Internet. I in no way receive compensation for endorsing these products. I'm simply sharing things my family and I enjoy. I'd love it if you'd share some of your favorites with us, too!

The importance of bathroom mirrors

We recently stayed in a house that didn't have a mirror in one of the bathrooms. And, every time I went in there, something just seemed not quite right. I do not often think of myself as vain, but the absence of the mirror was noticeable. There were other mirrors in the house, but, still, I missed the bathroom mirror. So, I got to thinking: "What's so important about a bathroom mirror?" This is what I came up with:

We need a place where we can examine ourselves freely, without the scrutinizing eyes of our sweetie or our children or a friend or a stranger or the world. We need places where we we can be alone with ourselves and just look. This extends far beyond a peek at our physical appearance. Unfortunately, many people I know seem to be uncomfortable with this kind of personal scrutiny, and so it is like they intentionally leave out the mirror in the bathroom, and then things just don't quite seem right. We need to take the time to examine ourselves, to know our flaws and features, to work on the things that need work and accentuate the assets. And, sometimes, we need to do this without the influences of even those who are closest to us, because it is important to know ourselves. Other mirrors have their place, for sure, but the one you will miss the most is the one in that most private of places.

The joy of lower expectations

For much of the time Jeff and I were dating, we were in a long-distance relationship, and we only saw each other on weekends, if that often. Just about every time Jeff showed up at my doorstep, he delivered a lovely bouquet of flowers or at least a stem or two. Imagine my shock and surprise after we got married and all that sweetness seemed to come to a screeching halt. It's not that he wasn't ever sweet or romantic. It's just that we lived in the real world--together--and that level of awesome is too much for anyone to live up to. But, still, I was disappointed and sometimes angry, which didn't inspire Jeff to bring me flowers more often and only sapped the joy out of our relationship at times. I didn't even know I had an expectation, until I would catch myself saying in my heart, "He used to bring me flowers, but he never does that any more."

When I started having children, and when they were big enough, I thought, "I'll just teach them how to put their things away and clean up after themselves, and my house will stay clean." Wasn't I surprised to find out that that is the furthest thing from reality that could possibly be. I have taught the kids how to clean up after themselves, but the house certainly doesn't stay clean. (And, that's not just because of the kids!) This has often led to me feeling stressed and frustrated, and taking that out on the people around me, even though expecting six people who live and work and school at home to keep the house clean all the time is pretty crazy, when you stop to think about it.

It's not just relationships that suffer from the Exasperation of Expectation. Sometimes, I put unreasonable expectations on myself (especially when comparing myself to someone else). Or on other drivers on the road. Or on the washing machine. But I have been learning (and relearning, over and over again!) that there is joy in lowering expectations. 

I don't mean lowering in a sense of becoming negative or pessimistic about things. I mean it more in the sense of letting go of all expectations, so that I can look for opportunities to be thankful for the things that exceed my (non-existent) expectations. That is, so I can be thankful for all the things. I'm working on a new life motto: Expect nothing, appreciate everything. And, you know what, there really is joy there.

My hubby still brings me flowers sometimes. And, since I don't ever expect him to do so, it gets me every time. I'm all giddy and silly, and just plain happy. And, when my kids put their dishes in the sink after dinner, without having to be reminded--or better yet, when they just decide to load the dishwasher because it needs to be done--I breath it in as a breath of fresh air, and my heart rejoices. 

Unreasonable expectations lead to grumbling and complaining--sometimes inwardly and sometimes outwardly--which leads to discontent and unhappiness. But letting go of those lofty expectations provides an opportunity to be thankful and happy in the face of any circumstance. I've been struggling with this the last couple of weeks, so I decided to write it down to remind myself. When I'm out of whack emotionally, I can usually (eventually) trace it to some misplaced or unreasonable expectation. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed with frustration or disappointment or anger, I dare you to give it a try. Let go of your expectations, and let life surprise you with a million little things to be thankful for. And, just see if that attitude of gratitude doesn't make you happy.

Words, wonderful words

Here are some of the beautiful words from some of the character-building books I've read this year:

The Phantom Tollbooth--Norton Juster

• "...since you got here by not thinking, it seems reasonable to expect that, in order to get out, you must start thinking."
• "...the way you see things depends a great deal on where you look at them from."
• "...for one of the nicest things about mathematics, or anything else you might care to learn, is that many of the things which can never be, often are."
• "...just because you can never reach it doesn't mean that it's not worth looking for."
• "You must never feel badly about making mistakes," explained Reason quietly, "as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons...it's not just learning things that's important. It's learning what to do with what you learn and learning why you learn things at all that matters."
• "...many places you would like to see are just off the map and many things you want to know are just out of sight or a little beyond your reach. But someday you'll reach them all, for what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow."
• "...you had the courage to try; and what you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do."
• "...many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible."

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart--Gordon Livingston M.D.

• "The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. "
• "When we think about loss of freedom, we seldom focus on the ways in which we voluntarily impose constraints upon our lives."
• "...we often do not do what is necessary to become the people we want to be."
• "People mistake thoughts, wishes and intentions for actual change."
• "The process of building has always been slower and more complicated than that of destruction."
• "Though a straight line appears to be the shortest distance between two points, life has a way of confounding geometry. Often it is the dalliances and the detours that define us."
• "The process of learning consists not so much in accumulating answers as in figuring out how to formulate the right questions."
• "We routinely invoke theories of accident, coincidence and forgetfulness to explain behaviors that we do not wish to examine closely."
• "To imagine that we are solely, or even primarily, responsible for the successes and failure of our children is a narcissistic myth."

The Traveler's Gift--Andy Andrews

• "...we are all in situations of our own choosing. Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure. By disclaiming responsibility for our present, we crush the prospect of an incredible future that might have been ours. "
• "...outside influences are not responsible for where you are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. or financially. You have chosen the pathway to your present destination. The responsibility for your situation is yours. 
• "Until a person takes responsibility for where he is, there is no basis for moving on."
• "The past will never change, but you can change the future by changing your actions today."
• "It is never the duty of a leader to struggle for someone else; a leader must encourage others to struggle and assure them that the struggles are worthwhile."
• "Truth is never dependent upon consensus of opinion."
• "Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart...success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart. When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape."
• "...life itself is a privilege, but to live life to its fullest--well, that is a choice."
• "You will never please everyone, nor should pleasing everyone be your goal."
• "Sooner or later, every man of character will have his character questioned. Every man of honor and courage will be faced with unjust criticism, but never forget that unjust criticism has no impact whatsoever upon the truth. And the only sure way to avoid criticism is to do nothing and be nothing!"
• "...while public opinion might sway back and forth, right and wrong do not."
• "When I give forgiveness, I free my own spirit to release the anger and hatred harbored in my heart. By granting forgiveness, I free my spirit to pursue my future happily and unencumbered by the anchors of my past. And forgiveness, when granted to others becomes a gift to myself."
• "The only limit to your realization of tomorrow is the doubt to which you hold fast today."
• "Circumstances are rulers of the weak, but they are weapons of the wise."
• "A person who is depressed is spending too much time thinking about the way things are now and not enough time thinking about how he wants things to be."
• "Average people compare themselves with other people. That is why they are average. I compare myself to my potential."

The Noticer--Andy Andrews

• "Think. Learn. Pray. Plan. Dream. For soon...you will become."
• "A grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person's life."
• "It's amazing that a person could lose everything, chasing nothing."
• "Worry...fear...is just a misuse of the creative imagination that has been placed in each of us."
• "The seeds of depression cannot take root in a grateful heart."
• "Many of life's treasures remain hidden from us simply because we never search for them...we are so caught up in fear and regret, that hope seems a foolish endeavor."
• "Most people think it takes a long time to change. It doesn't...It may take a long time to decide to change...but change happens in a heartbeat."
• "There is no difference in the person who intends to do things differently and the one who never thinks about it in the first place. 

The Diary of a Young Girl--Anne Frank

• "I don't want followers, but friends, admirers who fall not for a flattering smile but for what one does and for one's character."
• "...when I lie in bed and end my prayers with the words, 'I thank you, God, for all that is good and dear and beautiful,' I am filled with joy...I don't think then of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains."
• "And whoever is happy will make others happy, too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!
• "I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn."
• "If the truth is told, things are just as bad as you yourself care to make them."
• "There's one golden rule to keep before you: laugh about everything and don't bother yourself about the others!"
• "I can't imagine how anyone can say: 'I'm weak' and then remain so. After all, if you know it, why not fight against it, why not try to train your character? The answer was: 'Because it's so much easier not to!"
• "Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.
• "A quiet conscience makes one strong."
• "Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."

What IS on the line

Dear youth football coach(es),

I am terribly sad to even have to write this letter. I mean, we are only four games into the season, and I truly had such high hopes. I know that you are a volunteer, and I have been appreciative of the fact that you have taken time out of your life to allow my boys to do something they very much enjoy. It makes me happy to see my kids doing what they love. But, in the last couple of weeks, your actions and/or words during games have caused me to be considerably less appreciative and have even made me wonder if this whole thing is worth it.

I get that football is exciting and emotional. We all want our teams to do well and to win the game. Just this afternoon, I was acting pretty crazy in my living room, waiting for my beloved Aggies to finally pull out the win. Honestly, the game could have gone either way. Would I have been disappointed if they hadn't won? Sure. It's only natural.

I love football, and I feel there are so many wonderful things young boys can learn from playing the sport. But, because you seem to have forgotten that our boys (who, I will remind you, are only 6 and 8) are here primarily to have a good time and to learn some of the basics of the game, I would like to remind you that there are no full-ride scholarships or championship trophies or Super Bowl rings on the line when we get together on Saturday mornings with other 6 and 8-year-olds from the surrounding area to toss around the pigskin. There are, however, quite a few slightly more important things that are on the line:

• Reputations--your reputation, your son's reputation, your team's reputation, and your hometown's reputation. Your actions do not just reflect poorly on you. Think about that.
• The opportunity to positively influence some very impressionable young men--Those boys look up to you. In addition to teaching them to play the game, you also have an opportunity to teach them integrity, sportsmanship, respect, good attitudes, and so much more. With so few people in the world worth looking up to, I would think you would want to try to be the kind of person who makes a positive difference in the lives of the children you have volunteered to work with.
• The love of the game--As I said, football is a great sport, but if 6 and 8 year olds feel it is life-and-death, they will cease to love it. It will become a burden for them, and many of them will not stick with it. Or, they may just get tired of incurring penalties on the field on your behalf and seek other forms of entertainment, where that will not be the case. 

If you are in need of a football coach to model, I would suggest Kevin Sumlin of Texas A&M. I have never once seen him rant or rave or throw things. He seems to remain in control of himself no matter what happens on the field and to focus on what he can change rather than what he can't. And, as it turns out, unlike you, he actually does have something pretty important on the line: his job.

Youth football has so much to offer, and I hope you will consider how your actions influence that--for better or worse. 

Sincerely, 

A concerned, football-loving mama

Empty the bucket

We walked down the beach, his three steps to my one. I offered to carry the blue bucket to collect our treasures, but he insisted he carry it himself.  We had already taken a few steps, when he ran back for the red plastic shovel, which was almost the same size as him. I tried to tell him he didn't need it, but, again, he insisted. I intentionally kept my pace slow to accommodate my short-legged friend, and so that I could look for interesting shells and sea glass. I had already placed a few finds in the bucket but soon noticed my partner falling further and further behind. He had stopped to heap a shovelful of sand into the bucket, completely covering the things I had placed inside. I redirected his steps and reminded him that our bucket was for treasures and not for sand. A few more steps found us repeating this exercise. After his third stop, with the bucket nearly full of sand and no room left for treasures, this sweet little boy began to list to one side, his movements propelling him more sideways than forward, and at a snail's pace. He didn't ask for help, but I knew we would make no more progress if things remained as they were. So, I asked him, "Is your bucket heavy?" "Yes," came the quick reply. "Well, why don't you empty it." This thought had clearly not occurred to him, but he was willing to take my advice. With his burden lifted, he picked up his pace and began helping me search for lightweight prizes with which to fill the bucket. And, from that point on, he seemed to enjoy the trek down the beach a little more.

I was struck by the similarity to my own life. I insist on doing everything myself, on carrying burdens that I have no business carrying. Burdens that weigh me down, slow my pace and take the place of the beauty life could contain. And, sometimes, it's just time to empty the bucket.

Baseball Mom (and her soapbox rant)

I did not choose to become a "baseball mom." To tell you the truth, I don't even like baseball. (Apologies to all the family members and Americans I just offended!) What I do like are two boys named Max and Weston, and what they like (right now) is baseball. So, I took on the role of "baseball mom" willingly, if not whole-heartedly--I admit, I did not order t-shirts from the MLB teams, which my boys' teams are named after, to wear to all the games, and I have not had any desire to create a cute accessory out of an actual baseball. But, I have been to every game (save one, when I had to work, and one, when they were playing at the exact same time, and Dad and I had to divide and conquer), including FOUR games just today. And, I am washing uniforms at this very (late) moment, so we can do it all again tomorrow. And, I do get my voice a little out of whack yelling for my boys. For my boys. Not at them. Not at the umpire. Not at the other team. Not even at the guy in the parking lot who accidentally left his lights on, shining in the face of the batter. I will be the first to admit that I have my flaws, but I do constantly try to check what is coming out of my mouth at games (especially given my own competitive nature), and I would like to encourage all the other Little League parents out there to attempt to do the same (regardless of the sport). This game, this tournament, this season isn't going to make or break your child's future, in the rare event that he (or she) even has a future in this sport. And, it isn't going to redeem your past, as much as you might like it to. They are just little boys (and girls). Let them play and have fun. Let them learn a little about the game and about teamwork. These are valuable lessons. But, don't be overly critical. Or obnoxious. Or competitive. Or act like something really important is on the line. It isn't. To be fair, most of the parents are very supportive and encouraging, which I certainly appreciate. But, there are a few who could use a slight adjustment in their minds (and mouths) about how important this is in the grand scheme of things. [End of rant.]

Strong-willed, to the HNL

There is a child in our family who takes strong-willedness to the HNL. If you know our family personally, you know who I'm talking about. This child is intense, to say the least. When he was a toddler, I spiraled into depression, thinking I had failed, not only as a parent, but as a person, because I didn't know how to deal with him. As he and I have grown as people and have learned more how to control our respective emotions, I have found much delight in his intensity. He is all-in, for better or worse, reminding me of the old poem about the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead: "When she was good, she was very good indeed, But, when she was bad, she was horrid."

In the last year or so, we have been learning better, through trial and error, how to handle this strong-willed one. What he craves and demands is respect. We are embracing a discipline system that utilizes those needs of his. Just today, I videoed him throwing a passionate fit while refusing to do his Math assignment. He despised having to sit and watch it when he finally calmed down enough to see it. But, then, I gave him an opportunity to make a new video that he could be proud of. One in which he could see himself as a hard worker and a big boy. He loved the second video! I asked him if he wanted me to delete the first video, which, of course, he did. Then, I made a deal with him: As long as he was behaving in a way that he would be proud to watch on video and be proud to show to others, we would keep the second video. But, if he chose to revert to the previous behaviors, we would make a new video to replace the one he was so proud of. Throughout the day, just the mention of making a new video was enough to get him to change his tune. It was a discipline method that worked. For today. I fully expect to have to come up some other creative means of reigning him in at some point in the future.

He is, according to this article (that I unfortunately didn't come across until I had already discovered most of these things for myself, but that I'm glad to have in writing to refer to on my less confident days) "a person of integrity who isn't easily swayed from his own viewpoint." Hmm. That's some really useful perspective. Thinking of him as a person of integrity, rather than a disobedient rebel helps me help him through the struggle of growing up and will hopefully allow us both to escape mostly unscathed from this tumultuous childhood.

Perhaps your family also has a very special, HNL, strong-willed child, who will someday change (or rule) the world. Maybe you are beating your head against a wall, like I have done so many times (and still do so often). I want you to know that you are not alone. If you can glean anything from my experience or the tips in the article, I definitely want you to do that. And, if, in your experience, you've come across a thing or two that works (even if only occasionally), I'd love for you to share.

Life Lessons from Improv Class

Jeff and I finished our improv class before Spring Break, but I haven't taken the time to put down my thoughts about it. It was a wonderful experience overall, even though parts of it were hard, uncomfortable and exhausting. For us, it wasn't about acting or being funny, it was just about learning to be better people and how to roll with whatever life throws at us. After all, what is life but a great improvisation, despite our best efforts to plan it all out? I think a class like this would be beneficial to anyone, so if you're feeling brave and want to stretch yourself a bit, give it a try. (We think it's so great, we are planning to enroll our kids in an improv summer camp). I think there are classes all over, but we took our class at The Hideout Theatre in Austin. They have tons of classes and great staff. Here are some of the life lessons we learned:

• Have fun. This is the most important thing! 
• It's o.k. to fail. In fact, sometimes the greatest failures produce the greatest successes. Acknowledge the failure, laugh at yourself, and then move on. You don't accomplish anything by dwelling on the failure, except to ensure more failure. 
• Be obvious. It's o.k. to say, think, feel, or act out the thing that is most obvious. Many times this will be a relief to those around you, because they don't have to try to figure you out. And, this, in turn, will make things run much smoother. 
• Be affected. It's o.k. to be affected by others, to let your guard down, to give up or share control sometimes. It's also important to ask for details and the feelings of others, and to be willing to share your own. 
• "Yes, and." This is one of the most amazing principles of improv. Acknowledge a situation, emotion, statement, etc. without trying to resist it or judge it ("Yes"), then go from there to make it your own ("and"). "Yes, and" works every time, however "Yes, but" and "Yes, or" don't work, because they bring in judgement and conflict and keep you from moving forward. I dare you to try this in everyday life. It's a game changer. 
• Taking it a step further, "Yes, and, because" works the best, because it allows you to give meaning to every situation. 
• Be in the moment. Don't be distracted by what has already happened or what you think might happen. Sometimes it's important to act like no other moment exists except the one you're in. Also, don't let your mind wander. Train yourself to focus just on this moment, just on this subject, just on this person, etc. 
• Be committed. Be all-in, for better or worse. I was able to apply this principle on our ski trip when moving down the mountain. I noticed that the times I fully committed to my turns, I skied very well. When I couldn't quite make up my mind and hesitated or became wishy-washy, I lost my balance and almost tumbled down the mountain. A few times on difficult blues and blacks, I even said out loud to myself, "Commit!" It made all the difference. 
• Confidence is key. Speak and act with confidence (even if you have to "fake it to make it")--like you mean it and like you believe it. Sometimes this can be as simple as changing your body language or words: having an upright posture, making eye contact, speaking in complete sentences, enunciating vs. looking down/averting your gaze, touching your face, mumbling, giving one-word answers, being fidgety, drawing yourself inward. 
• A similar principle is the idea of "Jump and Justify." Jump in with words or actions, even if you're nervous or unsure, then justify why they are meaningful. Very often in my life, I have tried to justify first, and then I never got around to jumping. 

10 ways to get your kids to eat more fruits and veggies

1. When grocery shopping, pass through the produce department first and let everything be a "yes" in that section. It is easier to say "no" as you continue shopping, if the cart is already full and you've already given the green light multiple times on healthy choices. 
2. If you need to limit the number of yeses in the produce section, let each child pick out at least one veggie and/or a fruit and buy enough of it to share with the family.
3. Use a clear bowl or open-sided basket to make a display of fruits and veggies to keep out on the counter or as a centerpiece for the table. It will look so beautiful and appetizing, the kids (and adults) will be drawn to it like fruit flies.
4. Keep fruits and veggies in the lower drawers and shelves of the fridge, so that they are easily accessible to the smaller members of the family.
5. "Sell" fruit as a dessert and then don't feel guilty for saying yes to dessert every night. Adding heat to fruit brings out a greater natural sweetness, so baked apples or peaches with cinnamon or caramelized bananas make excellent desserts. (It doesn't count if you add sugar and/or butter, though.)
6. Kids love to snack (sometimes in place of eating actual meals), so let them snack on fruits and veggies any time they want.
7. Make a Half and Half rule. Any time someone fills their plate, they need to have half fruits and/or veggies and half other stuff. This should apply to seconds and thirds, as well.
8. Involve the kids in the menu planning and meal preparations. Let them throw together a fruit salad or choose a vegetarian entrée. They will feel a natural affinity for something they helped create. 
9. On gift giving occasions, give fun, age-appropriate kitchen gadgets, like an apple corer/slicer, a peeler, an avocado slicer, a strawberry stem remover, or a banana slicer. The kids will be thrilled to have their own equipment and will look for opportunities to use them. 
10. This is probably the most important: Model the behavior you want to see in your children. If your kids see you eating fruits and veggies, they will follow suit.