The things we say

Parenting provides plenty of opportunities to say ridiculous things. Here is a short list of crazy things Jeff and I have said to our children lately:

• "Take that banana out of your armpit."
• "Do not put the pizza crust in your ear."
• "You need to at least wear a shirt to dinner."
• "Stop standing on the dishwasher door."
• "There is spinach on your forehead."
• "Stop eating that pencil."
• "The hanger is not a toy."
• "Do not attempt to juggle the dishes. Just put them away."
• "Your shirt's on backwards."
• "Don't put your face in the helicopter blades."
• "When you need to go to the bathroom, please come inside."
• "Who filled the bathtub drain with toilet paper?"
• "Don't drink the hand sanitizer."
• "Quit throwing your shoes in the trashcan."
• "Do you know your socks don't match?"
• "I don't think the cows want to play with you."
• "Do you have a snack for your horse?"