Why are girls mean? And other hard questions.

Sweet Ruth,

Today you cried through Math class. And, finally, I figured out that it had to be more than not understanding scientific notation or trying to figure out how to solve for x, so I asked what was really going on. You then preceded to break my heart in a way I didn't think was possible now that my own pre-teen days are over.

"Why are girls mean?" you asked.

And, this is the part that broke my heart because I couldn't give an answer or "fix" the problem: "I don't know, " I replied, "but I know they are."

"Well, why all of a sudden do boys and girls seem to have to be totally separate? Why is it not cool to hang out with boys I've been friends with forever?"

Again, "I don't know."

Sweet girl, I wish with all my heart that I could hide you and protect you from all the hurts, both real and imagined, self-inflicted and outwardly imposed, that are likely to afflict you in the next few years. I remember all too well the real pain and heartbreak of mean girls and awkward relationships with boys. It's a very hard time of life. Maybe the hardest.

This is a time when boys and girls are trying to become men and women. You are all trying on different personalities and ideas to see what you like, to see what fits, and to determine which ones you want to take on for good. And, you're trying to do that through the filter of fluctuating hormones and a host of insecurities. Like I said, it's extremely difficult.

I wish I had clear, easy answers for you, but I don't. What I can promise you is that I'm here. And, I love you. And, more than likely, you will survive this time in your life and be better for it. You just keep being amazing, perfect you (as if you could do otherwise)!

All my love,
Mom