The party that almost did me in

I love a good party. Especially a good birthday party. And, I've hosted some fine ones, if I do say so myself. I have planned and served elaborate themed meals. I have toiled over the most minute birthday cake details until the wee hours of the morning and gone to bed with a satisfied weariness that came from knowing I produced exactly what my child described to me as his or her perfect cake. I have designed fancy invitations, decorated the house, filled piñatas, planned fun activities and bought cool party favors. I even once spent weeks creating a firetruck out of a sofa box and arranging for the real firetruck to show up at the party!

But the birthday party that just about did me in was the one that took place at our house today. It was the first one we've had that didn't involve a theme. Or my hand in the invitations. Or me making a cake. (Or even the cookies that were served in place of cake). And, I barely even saw Ruth and her friends during the party, as they tucked themselves away where they could giggle and tell secrets and silly stories and listen to Taylor Swift and do each other's hair. I knew this party was coming; I just didn't know it was going to get here so soon. And, even though I am proud of Ruth for designing, printing and mailing all the invitations and baking her own cookies and creating a special piece of jewelry to give to each of her friends as a favor, I must admit a piece of my heart is completely broken. I feel like I have been kicked out of the loop. Birthday parties are one of the tangible ways I love on my kids. But I feel like I'm no longer an essential piece of the puzzle. And, I know that, while my kids will always love me, there will be more and more instances where they just don't really need me. This, of course, is how it should be. If I'm doing my job correctly, my children should become more independent. That's absolutely what I want. At the moment, though, I'm not quite sure what to do with my emotions or how to re-channel my birthday party energy or why things can't just always be as they were. I guess I've got some growing up of my own to do. Perhaps, I should follow the lead of this lovely lady:

Celebrating 11