Death at the doorstep

Obviously, we are all just a breath away from death. But, at our house, someone always seems to be dying. At least that's how it sounds. So, I've made a little list of some of the ways death comes to us.*

• cactus spines
• fire ant bites
• face-plant on the concrete while rollerskating
• caterpillar stings
• (accidental) murder by a brother, with a fireplace poker to the eye
• skinned knees and elbows (only fatal if an adult is watching)
• self-inflicted sledge hammer to the eye
• ear infections
• stubbed toes
• bath water too hot
• bath water too cold
• soap in the eye
• teething
• headaches
• pulled hair
• cuts completely invisible to the naked eye
• bonked heads
• smashed fingers
• nightmares
• falling to the ground while attempting to ride the garage door up
• perceived injustices
• being told to "go play outside"
• ingesting raw shrimp**

*No one has actually died, or even been seriously injured. It just sounds that way.

**The shrimp incident did not produce death cries on it's own. My reaction to that event is what brought on the near-death hysteria.