Summer 2017

Monday, May 21, 2012

Death at the doorstep

Obviously, we are all just a breath away from death. But, at our house, someone always seems to be dying. At least that's how it sounds. So, I've made a little list of some of the ways death comes to us.*

  • cactus spines
  • fire ant bites
  • face-plant on the concrete while rollerskating
  • caterpillar stings
  • (accidental) murder by a brother, with a fireplace poker to the eye
  • skinned knees and elbows (only fatal if an adult is watching)
  • self-inflicted sledge hammer to the eye
  • ear infections
  • stubbed toes
  • bath water too hot
  • bath water too cold
  • soap in the eye
  • teething
  • headaches
  • pulled hair
  • cuts completely invisible to the naked eye
  • bonked heads
  • smashed fingers
  • nightmares
  • falling to the ground while attempting to ride the garage door up
  • perceived injustices
  • being told to "go play outside"
  • ingesting raw shrimp**

*No one has actually died, or even been seriously injured. It just sounds that way.
**The shrimp incident did not produce death cries on it's own. My reaction to that event is what brought on the near-death hysteria.

1 comment:

  1. :) You make me smile. SOUNDS vaguely familiar.

    ReplyDelete

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