Messes I Have Known

*My in-laws will kindly refrain from reading this post and will think happy thoughts about their once beautiful home*

Here are some of the interesting things I did today:

• Cleaned tee-tee off the floor. Twice.
• Changed the culprit's clothes. Twice.
• Caught my youngest splish-splashing in the toilet after he had clearly gotten bored with unrolling the toilet paper.
• (Tried not to puke).
• Changed the culprit's clothes.
• Caught my youngest emptying the trash can while simultaneously enjoying a snack.
• (Tried not to puke).
• Cleaned trash up off the entire kitchen floor.
• Swept and re-swept the area under the baby chair, and even got down on my hands and knees a couple of times for the really juicy morsels that the broom could do nothing with.
• Attempted to sweep up about a thousand square foot of spilled glitter, creating at least another thousand square foot of the sparkly mess and spreading it to the far reaches of the entire house.
• Used dozens of towels to clean up gallons and gallons of spilled water in various rooms around the house.
• Attempted to keep the toys from completely taking over.
• Mopped up spilled milk like it was going out of style. But didn't cry.