For The Woman Who Has Everything

Several years ago, I gave my mom a special pair of shoes, because I know how much she loves fun footwear. Nevermind that the shoes came off the clearance table at the Dollar Store, and they are not very attractive, and they are probably the most uncomfortable things you've ever put on your feet. A few years later, when I had completely forgotten about them, she gave them back to me, with some nice additions (tacky hippy flower thingies hot-glued all over). So, Saturday was Mom's birthday, and really, what do you give the woman who has everything? You give her the latest in accessory fashion, of course. The fashion trend I'm reffering to is the cockroach jewelry fad. I despise roaches, so live ones were out of the question, but keychain-flashlight ones from the party store were absolutely perfect. I hot-glued a couple of those babies to the shoes along with some of the hippy flowers and presto! I knew Mom would be thrilled and, boy, was I ever right! Nothing really lets your mom know you care like two huge bugs glued to the top of a pair of already-ugly high heels. But what makes me feel better about it is that I know I will get them back in a few years and they will have undergone yet another facelift and will certainly be awful.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!