Monday, February 09, 2009

"I'm going to do it without being afraid"

This bit of wisdom came from my three-year-old (to himself) at the park today, and frankly, it was just what I needed to hear--even though I wasn't really supposed to. I have spent much of my life doing things fearfully, underscored by an almost paralyzing (at times) perfectionism. Always there are the little (admittedly adolescent) voices in my head: "What will people think?" "How will others react?" "Will I fail miserably?" "Is it safe?" I'm not really much of a risk taker. If I had a mantra, it would probably be "better safe than sorry." But in the last few years (the years preceding, during and following my 30th birthday, if you must know), I have begun to re-evaluate this mantra and this way of being. I have begun to realize that I may have missed out on some neat opportunities simply because I allowed myself to be afraid to take any risks. And, since I'm being honest, I have to tell you that even though I recognize this little personality flaw of mine, and even though I know that the way to overcome this is to jump into things that are a little scary for me and just do them, I still find it difficult to do so. I find it easier to make excuses--"Maybe when my kids are older," "Maybe when I'm in better shape," etc., etc.--than to face the real issues, which are my fear of the unknown and my fear of failure. I have been taking baby steps to overcome these fears (think "moving to Brazil for six months"), because I don't want to look back on my life and say "I wish. . ." or "If only. . .." I don't want to miss (or suspect I missed) any more opportunities. It's time to change my mantra and my way of doing things (or not doing things). "I'm going to do it without being afraid." This will be said by me, to myself, as often as is necessary from now on.

2 comments:

  1. Good for you! Trey once said that I seemed to be motivated by fear; it made me so sad to hear that. Though it is true.

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  2. Anonymous8:33 AM

    Perfect Love drives it out. Oh if only I believed that! You seem to do a great job from my end of the computer. Keep me updated on how you work through that. Lori P

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